1. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!
2. Why did 12 Angry Men (and Women) walk into a bar? To get to the root of the problem.
3. How do you make seven an even number? Take the s out!
4. What did one math book say to another about ants? They’re not real numbers!
5. A horse walks into a bar and orders 3,732 drinks. The bartender says, “That’s quite an order.” The horse replies, “At my age, you do not take ‘nips’!”
6. What is zero divided by zero? Nobody knows.
7. What’s the difference between a math teacher and a vampire? One of them bites at night, and one of them bites all year!
8. What did one math book say to another? “I’m sure glad I have YOU to solve all my problems!”
9. Why are fractions delicious? Because they’re half of everything!
10. What do you get if you cross a math teacher with an insomniac? Someone who stays up all night wondering why no one else can solve the problems!
11. Why are triangles so well-dressed? They wear the biggest calculator belts!
12. What do you get when you cross an evil math teacher with a witch? An algebra class where no one can solve for X!
13. What does geometry give us? The ability to sit around all day doing nothing and still make it look like we’re doing something!
14. What does everyone get if they cross a math teacher with an outlaw? A “bad” number!
15. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems…
16. What is six divided by two? Half dozen!
17. Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? To relax a bit!
18. What is two minus one(2-1)? Well, if you’re going to start from nothing…
19. Who does nobody trust anymore? The square root of -1, because he’s imaginary!
20. What did one acid say to the other? I think I’m losing my perpendiculars!
21. Why is root beer not considered algebraic? It has no solution!
22. What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A middle school math problem!
23. Why is the number 7 afraid of eight? Because seven ate nine!
24. What do you get if you take the square root of the M&M? The candy shell!
25. Why did 7 go to the barber shop? To get 8 haircuts!
26. How do you divide by zero? Throw it at someone else.
27. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a pirate? An algebraic equation that’ll give the answer, but not to where it came from!
28. What is the difference between a math book and a chainsaw? You don’t want to get your fingers caught in a chainsaw!
29. How do you make ten into an even number? Put a zero at the end!
30. Why are there so many irrational numbers? Because we keep trying to square them!
31. What did one math book say to the other? I’m glad we agree on this!
32. Why do people always ask for a table of values in algebra class? So they can put their feet up and sleep!
33. Why did the obtuse corner go to jail? He was guilty of four crimes!
34. Why are there so many quadratic equations in this joke? The binomial expansion just won’t converge!
35. What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a kangaroo? A grade above F!
36. Why don’t they use calculators at the circus? Because they need more ‘fun’!
37. What did zero say to the other numbers? You guys are nothing but trouble!
38. Why did 11 go to jail? Because he was guilty of 1,2,3,4,5 crimes!
39. What did the indefinite integral say to the limit? Stay negative!