Clever whatsapp status showing Cleverness 2016

Latest Clever Whatsapp status

• Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
• The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
• Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
• It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
• Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
• Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
• God is really creative, i mean…just look at me.
• May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
• When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
• Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
• Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
• They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
• That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
• Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
• Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
• I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
• I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
• I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
• When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
• The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
• One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
• Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
• Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
• I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
• Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
• The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
• People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
• When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
• The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
• I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
• Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
• Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
• I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
• The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
• The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
• Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
• If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
• I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
• Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
• Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
• Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
• I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
• Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
• When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
• Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
• I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
• Better late than never, but never late is better.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
• I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
• Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
• Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
• No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
• Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
• In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
• Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
• Its Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
• God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well…we all make mistakes.
• You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
• Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
• I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
• The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.
• I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
• Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
• Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
• My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.
• I Love My Country. Itis The Government I’m Afraid Of!
• Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
• The only thing I can’t stand is discomfort.
• If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
• I’m a great lover, I’ll bet.
• A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
• The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.
• Coffee, chocolate, men… some things are just better rich.
• This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
• When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.
• Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.
• I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
• I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.
• Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
• Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?
• Do unto others before they do unto you.
• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
• I’m not messy. I’m organizationally challenged!
• He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
• A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.