Ladies and Gentlemen, it is a pleasure for me to present this article about one of life’s most important qualities: social skills. So many people lack this particular trait that those who have it are sought after everywhere they go. To keep a conversation going with someone you know – or even someone you don’t – requires social skills as well as the knowledge of what to do in certain instances . This guide will give you all the information you need to succeed in any conversation . I hope it serves well so your interactions can be simple and smooth – because we all know how much easier things look when someone else does them , and because I want all of you readers out there to feel great about yourselves and your abilities .
Now, what is a conversation ? I can’t give you a definition worthy of an encyclopedia article, but let’s just say it’s when someone communicates with someone else. This communication may be verbal or non-verbal . The real difference between the two is that in verbal communication , the meaning of the words spoken are interpreted by both participants . In non-verbal communication , one side doesn’t understand until it has been expressed in words. These are only the basics, though – there are many other things to cover before we get down to business. For instance…
First, be sure to keep up your appearance ! A few minutes spent combing your hair or making sure your shirt isn’t inside out could make all the difference in how people perceive you. Of course, whether people perceive you as a slob or not depends on what type of impression you want to make .
If your appearance isn’t enough, perhaps taking care of the voice will help . Are you sick? Are your allergies acting up? Are you tired or stressed ? Do you have any medical conditions that could affect how others hear and interpret the words coming from your mouth? These things can all work to make communicating with someone more difficult , and if they don’t know about it beforehand, they may think less of you because of it. Make sure to always let someone else know before an interaction ! It’s also important to remember how the other person feels about speaking loudly – some people hate it when their conversations are overheard by others, while others think nothing of it .
If your physical appearance and voice don’t convince someone that you’re worth listening to, perhaps your written words will . Are you writing an email? A text message? An academic paper? What are you trying to say ? Use the proper spelling and punctuation – or, if plain English isn’t your strong suit , hire a proofreader ! There are many people who make their living solely by helping someone else make sure what they write is perfect . And while I’m not saying these skills are necessary all the time , making sure you use them when it counts will help ensure that your messages get through correctly.
And now for some very advanced advice that only the best of the best need apply for… you have to learn how to anticipate what someone else might say next . Sure, it’s possible that you could be so smart as to predict what’s going on in another person’s mind , but I’d rather keep this guide simple. What can you do if someone asks you a question and you don’t know the answer ? If they ask when something happened , when something will happen , why something happened , or how something happened… these are all things you should go over beforehand! Anticipating certain questions shows that your conversation partner is interested – in science , for example, not everyone wants to hear about carbon dating … but some people really enjoy it ! It pays off to read up on the subject before talking with them.
Table of Contents
Here’s a list of over 80+ useful tips to keep the conversation going with anyone:
- Ask yourself, “What can I do to keep this person talking?” If you ask that, the answer will come more easily
- Don’t let long pauses happen
- Try not to dominate the conversation – it’s good to share time equally with the other person
- Respond in decent lengths of time and don’t be short with your answers
- If you have a hard time coming up with things to say, bring up something from their life and ask them about it
- Make sure you’re asking open-ended questions – those are better because they lead to lengthier responses from the other person
- Introduce new topics if the conversation starts to lag, making sure you don’t bring up anything too controversial
- If the person is less talkative than you are, listen more and ask them questions to get them talking instead of dominating the conversation
- Don’t focus exclusively on facts and statistics – those can be easily disputed and lead to conflict
- Try not to repeat yourself by saying the same thing over and over again
- Keep your tone lighthearted, but not too jokey – that can be off-putting to some people
- If you’re having trouble finding topics of conversation, try asking about their day or work life or upcoming plans for the week
- Show interest in what they’re saying by nodding and interjecting with “uh huh” or “yeah”
- Keep body language relaxed instead of closed off or defensive – that will help keep them talking to you longer
- Feed into the conversation by matching their tone – if they’re being serious, be serious back
- Try not to ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no – that will lead to them shutting down the conversation
- If you’re not sure if they’re interested in continuing the conversation, ask if they have time for more talking later
- Don’t try to change the theme of the conversation too abruptly or they’ll call you out on it and think you’re not genuine
- If you find yourself interrupting the other person, apologize and make a mental note to keep your mouth shut if something they mention is important to them
- Don’t be afraid to try new topics – if it’s not working, they’ll move on and that topic was just a stepping stone anyway
- If you’re talking to someone who’s really quiet, get close to them and make sure you get their attention before speaking
- If they get uncomfortable or show signs of wanting the conversation to end, tell them it was nice meeting/talking with them and move on
- Try not to let interruptions happen – excuse yourself politely if necessary
- If you’re having trouble finding things to say, ask them about their life or upcoming plans
- Don’t be too serious – a conversational tone is a lot more inviting than a dull silence
- Keep your body language open to signal that you want to continue the conversation
- Show genuine interest in what they have to say – physical cues are important, too
- If you find yourself running out of things to talk about, show interest in their responses instead of just waiting for your turn to speak
- Ask questions that aren’t yes/no answers or short responses that require a follow-up question
- Don’t be afraid to apologize if you find yourself interrupting the other person – that’s a sign of respect
- If they’re clearly in a hurry, don’t try to prolong the conversation too much – it’s better to end on a high note when someone is in a rush
- If you hit your conversational limit and feel like nothing else is coming to mind, say you’re going to check on something and excuse yourself from the conversation
- If you don’t know what to talk about next, bring up a new topic instead of staying silent
- Try to avoid asking questions that might make them uncomfortable – they’ll be more receptive of your continued friendship if they feel at ease around you
- If you ask too many close-ended questions, they’ll stop talking to you – feed into the conversation by matching their tone
- Don’t just think about keeping the conversation going – show it through your body language and words
- If they’re not overly talkative or haven’t contributed much to the conversation, feed into their responses instead of waiting for your turn to talk
- Show interest in what they have to say instead of trying to steer the conversation towards yourself
- Show genuine interest by nodding and interjecting with “uh huh” or “yeah”
- If you’re finding it hard keeping up a conversation, ask about their interests and opinions instead of talking about your own
- Don’t try to change the theme of the conversation too abruptly or they’ll call you out on it and think you’re not genuine
- Use verbal cues, like “oh” and “I see”, to keep the conversation going
- Let them know that what they’re telling you is interesting and that you’d like to hear more
- If they’re not talking about themselves, ask them questions about their life or something of interest
- Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself if you make a mistake – it will defuse the tension and help them feel more comfortable around you
- Try to think of follow-up questions in advance so you’re not struggling to come up with them on the spot
- Keep your body language open and be attentive instead of closed off and disinterested
- Don’t just think about keeping the conversation going – show it through your body language and words
- If they bring up a new topic, match their tone so they understand you’re still engaged in the conversation
- If necessary, pretend to be interested if you find it hard to keep up a conversation
- Ask them questions and feed into their responses instead of just waiting for your turn to speak
- If they ask your opinion, give them a short answer and move on to their response instead of elaborating
- Don’t be afraid to apologize if you find yourself interrupting the other person – that’s a sign of respect
- Show interest in what they have to say instead of trying to steer the conversation towards yourself
- Keep your body language open and be attentive instead of closed off and disinterested
- If necessary, pretend to be interested if you find it hard to keep up a conversation
- Try to think of follow-up questions in advance so you’re not struggling to come up with them on the spot
- Show interest in what they have to say instead of trying to steer the conversation towards yourself
- If they ask your opinion, give them a short answer and move on to their response instead of elaborating
- Let them know that what they’re telling you is interesting and that you’d like to hear more
- If they’re not talking about themselves, ask them questions about their life or something of interest
- Match the conversation by feeding into their responses instead of waiting for your turn to speak
- Use verbal cues like “oh” and “I see” to keep the conversation going
- Show genuine interest by nodding and interjecting with “uh huh” or “yeah”
- If you’re finding it hard keeping up a conversation, ask about their interests and opinions instead of talking about your own
- Let them know that what they’re telling you is interesting and that you’d like to hear more
- If they ask your opinion, give them a short answer and move on to their response instead of elaborating
Once we’re done with this article, it might be fun to look back on what we’ve written and evaluate just how well some of these techniques work in real life. Which ones did you find most helpful? Have any others helped you advance your interpersonal communication ?
Now that I’ve given you all of this knowledge you can use (or not), feel free to go out there and make friends with the world!