74 New Funny Status List
hi friends , here is all new funny status list for your wahtsapp status , facebook status this statuses you can use to all ur other social networks . look below for 74 all new whatsapp funny statuses
Funny Status List:
God’s creative… Take a look at me.
God’s really great & creative… Just look at me!
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Google Maps really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
Gravity always gets me down. ?
Guess who has three thumbs and found a severed hand in the parking lot: THIS GUY!
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
Hang on, let me overthink this.
happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA Facebook update that I boinked her.
has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won’t cut a bagel in half … Not even on top speed
I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script #DamnTeenQuote
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
I have an oven with a ‘stop time’ button. It’s probably meant to be ‘stop timer’ but I don’t touch it, just in case.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life’s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.
I like my coffee like I like my oxygen – CONSTANT.
I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, “Where is my phone?” and it would be like, “It’s under the couch idiot.”
I work for money… You’d hire a dog for loyalty.
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?
I’ll change my Facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and I press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
I’ll hide you in a way that even Google won’t be able to find you.
Not every man is a fool… Some are bachelors.
Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt.
Nothing like a long weekend to make you hate Monday even more.
Nothing like trying to study to make you realize how cool the ceiling looks.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
We all know that one dude who’s existence just pisses us off.
We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Why there isn’t a day between Saturday & Sunday? I really need it.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply Chap Stick.
Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.
You can never really say what’s on your mind, when your family is on Facebook ?
You can stay in my heart without paying single penny.
You can switch off a mobile phone but not a girl friend.
You cannot always make a person laugh, unles you’re a joker.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
You’re a joker if you always make somebody laugh.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
You’re ridiculous
Your attitude defines ur day.
Your Attitude defines you.
Your beauty may fade over time but personality doesn’t.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
Be you… Not who the world wants you to be.
Be yourself instead of blindly following others.
Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful.
Beauty is in the eye of CC Holder
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect.
Behind every crazy women is a man who made her that way.
After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!
After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.
After you fart, the blame game starts.
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
All birds find shelter during a rain,but Eagle avoids rain by flying above the Clouds,Problems are common,but attitude makes the difference.
All girls are my sisters…except you.
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
All you need is an distant place – to fart.
74 New Funny Status List